i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
