Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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