a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
