I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
