They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
