Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's like iHOP with fire
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
