I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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