It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i need some magic done to my vagina
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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