Buhtt sex?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
