I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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