girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
