I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i believe in u and ur pee
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
