Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
