instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
