Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize