Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
