??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
