her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
