so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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