Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
