did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize