We're facebook friends in real life
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
