please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
