He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
