I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize