when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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