Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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