Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
