I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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