he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Damn victory sex feels great
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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