It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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