So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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