I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
