I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
