I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
