I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
