I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
