I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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