I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
