Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
