drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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