This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We had sex on a dog bed..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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