My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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