OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
