brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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