we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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