Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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