I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
