I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
