My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
