Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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