I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
