i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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