So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
