Having a random hookup so left but love u
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
