Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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