if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am available for nakedness
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize