I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
