i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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