this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
