Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize