i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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