MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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