yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
